Every time I found sth I like. It will not be long lasting. Tts why I nv admit I like anything.
Now tt I admitted sth tt I like. Its gonna leave me.Pple take things for granted. I take pple for granted, pple took me for granted.I began to feel frustrated again.Just that its more serious this time.I finally break down ytd, and threw everything on my table. Sit down on the floor with my knees in my arms and cry.Nobody's taking me seriously anyway.I scolded mean things to somebody in the past.And tt person did it to me today.It hurts.Tt person must have hurt too in the past.I wonder how tt person tolerated.But I couldn't get over it.Tt person said this before,"What's pass is past".But this time is different.I rmb the past.He sworn it.Its over.

Sometimes when u feel like u can trust somebody, u actually cannot.


This person will do sth behind ur back. Until somebody reveals sth to u, then u'll realise u've been naive to believe tt u two r relying on each other.


Actual fact, the person fend for "itself".


U r nobody to tt person.


SO in a nut shell, stay away from tt person.


If forced by circumstances, u cant.



Then put on a mask.


Afterall, tts what the person did to u.


Tt person is pathetic afterall.


Cox this person will always be treated as a jackass in my heart forever.


Sad for "it".

I just feel useless and helpless.


I feel very down right now. And I just wanna cry it out.

Tmr's CNY! And today's reunion dinner night. =)

Im going to Sentosa Flowers on tue!!! And I'm so gonna enter the "Magic Moments" Online Digital Photography Competition!!! But I haven used a digital cam in my life though there's one at home. Nevertheless, I'm gonna "tiao zhan gao nan du" (Take up the tough challenge) Hehe.

Ooh!!! Happy Chinese New Year!

I bet its Flowers all over the world tonight!

I suddenly rmb how this person treats me last year.


I shuddered at the fact tt I'm still friendly to her.


Am I becoming like this person or am I too forgetful?

How many more pple are going to fall for this person's trap?

I'm not gonna say anything, hopefully these PPLE will understand one day.

Anyways. I only have one feeling now.

Life shouldn't be like this.


We shld be able to take charge because this is OUR life.


We shld know what's our priority. We need to make cuts and do things which are more impt at this very moment. All the rest can wait. Since we haven been doing sth for so long, it doesn't matter if we put it off for a period of time. The moment is over for tt. We need to look forward now. More impt things are waiting for me to do. Throwing temper and act crazy won't solve anything.


The impt thing now is to TAKE CHARGE!!!

What do I do? Which one do I do first???

Im completely out of control!

I wanna go ECP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need the breeze to calm me down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't want to feel so full right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just like muffins. OK!?

Is it the fact that Im not rich therefore, I'm missing out things in life?





Or is it the fact that I'm not outgoing or sociable as others, and so I'm missing out things in life?





Or rather, is it the fact that I dun understand myself and so I'm holding things that r not supposed to continue?





Is it that Im no longer the person pple see me in the past that I MUST see that what others see me now of me??





Or is it that I'm not confidence and swishy-swashy so I'm missing out ALL the things I would like to have and not envy pple whenever I happened to see the things I yearned for on others???





BottomLine:



I have no aims in life. Or rather, my aims are too vague unless I sit down and draw out a plan.





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------





I've finished Twilight ages ago,and now on new moon, but it wasn't as expected. So, I skip to the back where the interesting parts are. In my situation now, I dun have the luxury of reading and enjoying every part now, where its boring or long-winded ones, before it reaches the climax of tt book. Do all of u understand what I'm talking abt? Whichever, I'm writing cox I feel like.





FYI, I'm imbalance.Right now.





Can I have more time and passion now?





So i can have more time to spare.





Im so frustrated and helpless over AMCA. How do I study without a textbook?





I just feel like swearing now.





KNS!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Don't come ask me I'm ok or not. Cox anyone w common sense can see I AM NOT!

Such a peaceful afternoon, simply relaxing and windy...


Hopefully this peacefulness prolongs, even after my father comes back...


Tada

Its the start of the school and I'm feeling imbalance. I feel sad and there's nth to do with it.

The fact is I dunno what I want and things just come too fast before I can react.

The foreign lecturer has no main point when he's speaking and I cant catch what others r able to catch. And Im frustrated.

When things just dun come ur way, u cant just sit down there and accept it. Make changes and make sure things go Ur way.

Come on, go get a life pple! But dun lost ur way!!!

Listening to Shayne Ward's Breathless (snowflake mix).


Work's been mandane and boring as usual, though there are lots more things to do ytd.


Oh yeah, I've been shoot vulgarities by a student. I've told everyone ytd. He is so low std. My vulgarities vocab might be even greater than his, but I'm not stooping to his level. I'm there to work, not to fight with low std pple and I didn't let this spoilt my day. Gd Job!


I feel so tired and worn out after work each day, and since this is a rough period, smelly egg and me can't spent money like before. Hope this will pass soon and we're able to patronise restaurants without worries.there's still ard 2 weeks before I end my contract. Wish the following 2 weeks quickly pass, and I can leave the job soon! And the pple's there not really nice and friendly. But I dun want to quit because of this. I only have ard 2 weeks left, so, I believe I can make it through! Smelly egg will support me, and vi ce versa.

Apparently, "extreme" has been very unhappy with me and "round head". So, I will spend more time with "extreme" as much as possible. Mark my words, "extreme".

So everything you said are relevant is it? You put in good words, so did I put in gd words for u.


Why do we have to communicate in this freaking platform? Can't we use our mouth to communicate? I demand a confrontation today.


Because I don't understand what you're trying to convey and You don't understand what I'm driving at.


This will continue to draft a bigger and deeper gap.


GET IT? WE NEED TO TALK?!?



Don't splurt out vulgarities the moment you open and close your mouth. You are civilised person k.

Its hard to tear btw work, bf and family. I don't seem to have enough time for anyone of them. I wanna work cox I wan my resume to be fuller and to make my bank account increase with the lines. I want to spend time baking and laughing with my family. I also want to spend more time with smelly egg to make up the lost time during the last sem.



However, "extreme" don't seem to understand. "Extreme" talks from its point of view. I talk from my point of view. However, "extreme", do I ever reprimand u in my blog? Also, U think all the things you do are correct? You complain abt the time you (you all) lost to somebody, did it ever occur to u, where are the time I (WE) lost due to ur SOCIALISATION? Socialisation do brings advantages, however, so far, I didn't see it occuring to you.



Reflect on the days/nights that you spent on socialisation, I BET u nv think of how we spend time at home ALONE.



You are right abt one thing. I am indeed gonna say you r selfish and stubborn cox you only think from your perspective. Wait till you have a bf, I'll see how you tear btw family, bf and your SOCIALISATION. And you mentioned abt B and $30,000 paper? You better watch tt for your socialisation.





There is only one word to describe work now. KNS. The people are hypocrite and just doesn't seem to be the same as in MPH. Though its tough working at the latter, the environment is much better and friendlier than the former. I feel like quitting, but I just don't wanna give up the job just because of tt. I wanna try out sth new but not I've only tried out for one week. I hope I can survive down there.





Talking abt the work, for this week, due to the exam period coming up next week, I'm only assigned to zapping papers the entire week. I've also done some paper work but its crazy. Coz the work's too manual and mandane. Its boring and not efficient!!! No wonder pple in office are so stress, cox they are not efficient at all!!! And also, they keep eating and talking and going to the pantry to make and refill coffee etc...so waste of a time. I don't think tts gonna help them get their work done faster.






Every morning I wake up, I feel like crying coz I need to wake up very early and have to wear makeup and high heels. Nth makes me happy at the work, I went work looking forward to lunchtime. I'm happiest after lunch coz tt means there are only a couple of hours to knocking off. In a nutshell, I look forward to lunchtime when I go work every morning, look forward to knocking off after lunchtime. Compared to the motivation when I was in MPH, at least I got to joke with Shoba and Pat and "Him", not to forget my cute skating guy :) and delicious food in the mall...

I don't to work there!!! But I wanna earn money!!! HOW?!?!?!?!?!

Oh ya, I accidentally met a person whom I had unusual and unhappy experience with. But I'm glad I've forgotten abt his after during the day after bumping into him.

What a long post ~

The feeling I had for the entire day: Crying


If only I could go back to the December on 2007.


I would have been happier.



I would be even happier if I could go back to the toddler's day.


This second half of the year had been tough for most pple. It has been tough on me too.


I could no longer bear this harshness,



All I wanna do is to Runaway.

The past few weeks have been hectic, only till last week, did I have a wee bit of rest. So, i went to watch Mama Mia, and Gosh, am I addicted to ABBA's song-- Dancing Queen! I simply like the idea of some many "ladies" dancing together and especially the three aunties dancing and singing together!!! Im just so happy at the scene and I dunno why!!!

Anyway, smelly egg says he's determined this time to venture into a new industry, go for further studies and train up so tt I'll have the pleasure of Txxxxing Him! Hah! Gross?!? This is the first time I see him so determined, am I so proud of him! Though the period now is though for him, and me, haha, but no worries :)

I'm just so disgusted by you. And I won't tolerate you anymore. No personal things discussed with you anymore cox u're as hypocrite as a.......as a monkey. As loathsome as it. Anyway you are. People may be blind by your friendly-mask, but I've already seen through it. You are simply disgusting. You think you very capable? Don't you know others just can't be bothered to fight with you? You should reflect on yourself and not complaining what you don't have. For once I'm telling you. You are already very lucky compared to others. Cunning Fox.

My birthday's coming! However, I don't think I have the luxury to go out and celebrate it. Anyway I've ate my birthday cake, so tts a trade off.

My sis's birthday also falls in the month of September. As such, the whole family's buzzing with what presents to give us etc...hehe

My mum say I don't always buy things, but if I were to buy any, tt thing would be an expensive one. I think tts TRUE! I rmb the last thing tt I wanted which was expensive was a pair of Roller Blades when I was in sec 4. This year, I had a liking on this bag. And bag I've been aiming at it for 1 YR! HAHA! And my sis said the bag outdated already, if i really want to buy, I should go for the latest design of this bag series. Wonder what bag it is???

HAHA! This is the bag, crumpler barney orange :) Its a rather old design, and its selling at Garage at The Heeren.

I was practically looking and admiring the bags from outside the store last Mon when I went. So paisei haha, u know when u have no $ to buy it, there's no point going in right? haha

So, should I buy it?

Pros: I like it, cox I've been bio-ing it for almost 1 yr.

Cons: Its expensive and its an old design.

Solution: Go for the latest design of this series of bag (sth new of this brand but its still similar design to this bag)

Most importantly, U must have $! haha, nvm, admiring the bag is gd enough for me. :)

Feelling balanced today.




I've got surprise today. Satisfying.





Its been long since I had surprise. :)

I am so stressed out by projects that I can no longer laugh. Let alone smile. I really LOVE projects. I am really very unhappy. And nth seems to help.

Really frustrated now, project guidelines seem too ambigous, nobody seems to be helping much...
Im ballooning up!!! I wanna finish it fast but not at the expense of the marks!!! I'm just so frustrated! What should I do! I've exceeded my word limits and there are things I've haven included in, and I just don't feel like doing it! The most effective motivation comes from within oneself and not from others!!! I'm going bonkers!!!


Selfish people!!!

Upset, hectic, stressed up. These r my feelings now.
Too much work, too tired.
Don't talk to me. I don't wanna go anywhere. Don't think of removing me from my house for I'm gonna camp myself at home until I'm satisfied with myself. Don't force me anymore. I'm really gonna break any moment.

I guess I'm right afterall. People do leave U when u need their company most.

Im going through a hard time. I wished I could have time for a getaway.

I am so so angry, and so so vexed and so so dissatisfied!!!! Why are these people like tt?!?!?!?!!?And why can't I just do sth ?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!





ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recently, I found myself having noted a lot of things which I need to do. But, when I want to come down to it, I forgot what are the things. For these, I can't forgive myself.



My mind seems to be preoccupied with something else which is rubbish! And I am very angry at myself. From this moment, I, DON'T WANT to have anything to do with those rubbish anymore!




This morning, I woke up with a really sweet dream. But, right now, I feel extremely unhappy and, sad. But I won't cry, coz someone told me I have to be brave. Like ugly betty!

I'm very tired and I saw sth tt traumatised me the moment I looked into the mirror. I saw a line forming under my left eye. Oh no! I already had two very obvious panda eyes, and the right one already seems like its becoming swollen, the left one can't do this to me!!! I got enough sleep what although I find it hard to sleep in the afternoon, I think I got enough sleep at night mah.



And I'm awake at 7.45am this morning, cox I need to do up the research tt I've neglected to do for the past 4 days!!! OMG! What happened to me? Did I get my priorities right?



Whatever the case now is, I'm very tired, and I'm gonna go back to sleep till 10 before I need to get up to do research, this time, in the sch lib.



ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I think I'm getting more reliance and sticky to him. This is not a gd thing. Be independent.

Something lighted my day ytd.


Somebody hand-maded me a card.


And surprised me with a bear which I eyed for long time ago.


The card is too precious to be shared and so I shall kept it for myself.


Sweet, is the only word I can say.


:)

I am very busy. I feel very busy. I have to be busy. Everyday, I'd have a list of things to be done, and the time after I got home from school is preoccupied by all these things. Projects are on-going and I'm already suffering. I really LIKE OB, coz everyday it takes up all of my time after school reading and reading OB and I dun even know HOW TO START the project! And I dun seem to have enough time at all! Why do I feel tired? Why can't I have all 24 hours, no need to eat, sleep, watch tv, why? why? why? I'm feeling really lethargic and I need to go tuition in 45 mins time. Worse, I'm having headache cox I dun have enough sleep. And I did a crazy thing.
I'm supposed to return a txbk to school by 9am this morning. I did wake up in time. But I fallen back to sleep. Until 7.45am. So, I reached school at 9.45am. So, there was a fine of $1.50. For such a stingy person like me to rather sleep in and pay the fine then to wake up and go to school to return the book on time, U know how tired I am. Enough of the tiring. I'm gonna be strong and determined like...like a bull!

And I'm so sick and tired of all these. Can't we all live on a small town where everyone is so happy and contented with each other without the comparison? Pple long long long time ago do started to live like tt right?


i miss the moments where i feel safe and calm coz tt someone is by my side with eyes steadily watching over me without interruptions when I was sleeping... R u reading this right now?

School's been very very busy for me. I'm suffocating already, mentally. Not yet physically.
And Jin Ting just wanna do one thing now.







ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'm suffering from pre-school opening blues...
I'm starting school next week, but I just realise my I had only one friend with me for one of the courses, worse of all, we had a group assignment. We only had two people, where to find new pple to grp with us? I dun have many friends in school and still this course need us to do project, Group Assignment somemore. I'm beginning to resent this school...............

This entry is SOLELY directed to Mr. SMELLY EGG.



For your information, the places I want to go are as shown below:

1) SCHOOL---Pay school fees and Print my notes! (Priority)
2) ZOO!
3) Watch moviesSSSSS( at the vivo with comfy seats )
4) Sungei Buloh




Because U r the reason for my :( and insomnia, as COMPENSATION, U have to fulfill all the things stated above. U are not allowed to make any bargains, and U have only one week to fulfill all these before my school starts. Hmph. Understand?!?

This is my 2nd entry of the day coz I found something impt to
share...

Do take a moment and read this, its lengthy but it conveys a
simple yet important msg...

This was taken from my frenz's bf's blog where he took it from
his frenz's blog.

"On my wedding day, I carried my wife
in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies
insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our
home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.This was
the scene of ten years ago.The following days were as simple as a cup of pure
water: we had a kid,I went into business and tried to make more money.

When the
assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She
was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at
the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.Our marriage life
seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by
unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life.It was a sunny day. I stood on a
spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in
her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.Dew said, You are
the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of
my wife. When we just married, my wife aid, Men like you, once successful, will
be very attractive to girls.Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew
I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn t help doing so.I moved Dew's hand aside
and said, You go to select some furniture,O.K.? I ve got something to do in the
company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see
with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although
it used to be something impossible to me.However, I found it rather difficult to
tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be
deeply hurt. Honestly,she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing
dinner. I was sitting together. Or, I was lounging before the computer,
visualizing Dew’s body. This was the means of my entertainment.One day I said to
her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at
me for a few seconds without a word.Apparently she believed that divorce was
something too far away from her. I couldn t imagine how she would react once she
got to know I was serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped
out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to
hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She
gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.Once again,
Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I
knew I could not hesitate any more.When my wife served the last dish, I held her
hand. I ve got something to tell you, I said.She sat down and ate quietly. Again
I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn t know how to open my mouth. But
I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious
topic calmly.She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked
me softly, why? . I m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer
turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a
man!At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give
her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.With a deep sense of
guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house,
our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into
pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.The woman who had been living ten years with
me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had
said.Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to
see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had
obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.A late night, I
came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the
table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned
over and was asleep again.She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn t want
anything from me,but I was supposed to give her one months time before divorce,
and in the month s time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was
simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and shedidn t
want him to see our marriage was broken.She passed me the agreement she drafted,
and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room
on the wedding day?This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful
memories to me.I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she
continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on
the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me
out from the bedroom to the door every morning.I accepted with a smile. I knew
she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic
form.I told Dew(BITCH) about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly
and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the
result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel
uncomfortable.My wife and I hadn t had any body contact since my divorce
intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So
when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a
sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked
over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us
start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put
her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.On the
second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest. We were so
close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn t
looked at this intimate woman carefully for along time. I found she was not
young any more. There were some finewrinkles on her face.On the third day, she
whispered to me, The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you
pass there.On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we
were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The
visualization of Dew became vaguer.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept
reminding me something, such as,where she put the ironed shirts, I should be
careful while cooking, etc.I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.I
didn t tell Dew about this.I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the
everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to
carry you now.She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She
tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my
dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because
she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not becauseI was stronger. I
knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.Again, I felt a sense of
pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.Our son came in at
the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said.To him, seeing his father
carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our
son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid
I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from
the bedroom,through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my
neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our
wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.On the last day, when I
held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.Our son had gone to school. She
said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.I held her
tightly and said, Both you and I didn t notice that our lifewas lack of such
intimacy.I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid
any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the
door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I'm serious.She looked at me,
astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her
hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t
divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn t value the
details of life, not because we didn t love each other any more. Now I
understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child,
I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.Dew
seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door
and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed
the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her
favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I
smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are
old."

I do hope I could find tt special
someone who would carry me out every morning till we're old. Have I already
found Him?

During school days, everywhere seems so attractive and I had a list of places to chiong aft exam. Now, there's only 1 week left of my hols, then I rmb the places I wanna go, lotsa of things I wanna do.

• Sungei Buloh,
• Night Safari,
• eat Indian Cuisine,
• the chicken rice at the coffeeshop beside United Sq and the one near the supposingly Novena Church
• Watch the stars, sunset,
• watch lotsa movies,
• bake cakes,
• durian puffs,
• meet up my frenz.....I still wanna go ecp and enjoy b4 I sink myself into loads of books again.
  
  

So many things, how to squeeze in one week?
And I need to buy a new ez-link card but I've only got 1o bucks in my wallet which I preserved for so long and didn't wanna touch it. My tuition just resume this week, it'll be long before I can get my pay....I got no money. Its not nice to stick out my hand and ask for $$$ also. Looks like I got to tahan...till then.

I got to print out my notes b4 the school starts also. Tt means I got to go back school and fight over the printer with pple. This school is ridiculous also, no more refreshments, no more printing of notes for us everything no more. What they do? Sit down there collect money.

A very random entry. I know. Tts just me. Hah!

Ytd I'm unhappy. Today I'm happy!
Morning Ah ni ni and I went Wisma to fix her phone. While waiting for the sony svc centre to open, we sat at the Food Republic. Its only when I spotted DIM SUM from Fortunate Restaurant! Immediately I told her I wanna eat the Siew Mai and Har Gao cox I've only got 10 bucks in my wallet. Haha! She needs to reward me for the companion right! So, in the end I get to eat the delicious siew mai and har gao. But I prefer Bao Today's Dim Sum, since their's taste better in my opinion.

Simple things like this can make my day happy:)

Why do I always blog when I'm unhappy. I am feeling really down now. Is there anyway to let things stay the same, even after a long period? I don't like the feeling of uncertainty and always having "Why?", or "Why is that happening?" and "What's the problem?" .

I never had the luxury of having been coaxed. I'va always been left one side whenever I feel down pr angry. People always misunderstood the reason behind my emotions. And I, who had never been expressive enough, was never been able to explain to them.

I never had the luxury of mixing with a big group of frenz. I never thought I had any influence on people. I'm just a passer-by in their life. A forgettable passer-by.
Maybe someone is right. I'm easily influenced by people's comments. And someone said I'd die without tt someone. Well, I'll tell u now I won't die, because I'm used to people leaving me.

I'm having my emo days again. These days have been quite frequent due to...hate it.
When will I stop been so naive and grow up? Those days are over. For good.

I am not happy. It was just wishful thinking on my side. I need a break away from everything.

I do know what I want. I'm not confused, just don't know how to go about solving the it. But I do now. I want to hold on to the things I cherish, I do want to prove sth, can I? I wish, I hope, I can. Keep your place next to me, we'll brave through everything.Together.

My life has been very boring, very very boring... I got no datES!!! Ok, actually its my fault cox im lazy to go out...but its kinda diff to arrange for outings and such right??? I've been looking for jobs but as we know, Luck isn't so much on me when comes to this...but I do miss the days of working coz there's money to be earn!!!

省钱不可耻，伸手要钱才可耻。

Tts a philosophy which I learn from Rainie Yang. Good Philosophy. I have great plans for myself now, but first I need a job to fulfil these plans.

Since my life is so boring, I surf webs, and I came across many cakes and dessert blogs tt makes me drool! Ricky L. when r u gonna bring me to eat?!?But Im eating only half, u got to polish the other one and a half cakes off! hah!

Another blog tt I surf was Mary Bukoh's blog...which I found some of the entries tt simply touching and capable of making pple heartache as one reads on...

hmmm, with spare time tt I enjoyed now, I get to finish the Kite Runner tt was bought long ago...Simply touching and riveting.

The next one on the go would be The five pple u meet in heaven. And I am sure tt is gonna bring another twirl of emotions in me.

Im snapping...insecurity engulfed me.I'll conquer.

I don't care about other things anymore, for I am determined this time. Nth can wavered my decisions this time. I'm foolish, childish, I'm awake. I don't mean other things, don't think otherwise.

Norah Jones's songs are good for soothing...
Suddenly, I missed my plums, comforting plums...

I am happy today because I ....got 2 drawings!!!

I wish there is something I can do for him, so tt he won't be the only one trying so hard...
I wish there is something I can do, so tt I can share his burden & everything...
I've been trying hard to imagine the things he had to go through, and I absolutely understand his feelings...but,
What exactly is the something tt I can do then?

This entry is dedicated to 1 faithful person.



My Beloved Ah Ni Ni



Ah ni ni! Do u know how much I LOVE U?!?

U're so adorable,
so cute,
so sweet,
appealing,
endearing,
pretty,
attractive,
charming,
delightful,
gorgeous,
stunning,
elegant,
dazzling....Are all THESE enough? If not I'll be glad to add more, but DUN say I'm mushy & disgusting ok?!?

I was pondering over some qns...
I came across my frenz's blog and she wrote tt she cant stand those mushy lovey-dovey stuffs...
and I was thinking whether these lovey-dovey filled my life, do they filled YOUR life?



I put some of my fav songs up on this blog, but how many pple wld take the time to listen all of them, who wld take the time to read my past entries...just how many pple wld put in that extra effort to make someone happy in the way tt someone wants?




Well, of all this big big world, one might not be able find ur ideal half...even if u have, how certain r u ,to say tt the person u found is the ideal one...when in fact, sometimes pple dun even know how ideal shld their ideal half be...




Some people ,for fear tt the things they do will make the pple they love go away...and so they DO things tt their loved ones like, and ignore their own feelings and thinking...as time goes by, they forgot abt their stand...their character...most importantly, they forgot who they are, immersing in pool of tears and misery. Only to find tt their so-called "loved ones" will still go away one day, unappreciate of their efforts and hardwork tt they've put in...



Hah! Just some random thoughts of mine! Do u pple understand what I'm talking?

I realized I'm so naive and foolish...I dunno what I'm doing in the past few weeks...Its time to stop all this, before things get ugly...and cant turn back.

I'll go bonkers if I'm continually been stressed by this "vicious cycle" I made up. Is it a vicious cycle? Or is it tt I'm too bothered abt it when its actually nth...

I had a wonderful day today! Though some might say y am I always outside...but I know the time spent was always so short and hard. Pple who didnt see my hardwork can't criticize me. Nonetheless, I know someone out there is also working hard with me also, right? :)

I think this song below best describes my feelings now...Nvm,one week will pass very soon!




Avril Lavigne :: When you're gone



I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

hmmm...from tmr onwards, sm's gonna get stuck in the camp for two whole weeks...tts to say I cant see him as well...haiz. Ytd was the worst day of my life I guess.I really dun wish history to repeat itself agn.Really can't. Though he promised to call everyday, but I doubt its possible to do so since he's serving his reservist,the days must be tired, I can't be so selfish to expect him to call everyday...

Nonetheless, we enjoyed ourselves today. Though Haw Par Villa wasn't really a wonderful place to hang out, but we did enjoy ourselves. Tts good enough.
And 10,000 b.c. was really a good movie!!! Its funny, serious,touching,sacarstic...U name it,they have it.And well, Tt marked our day as well. Though I hate to say it, but I think I'm really gonna miss sm.

I like Him. I like surprises. But I like him more.

I'm currently in a state of hanging-in-the-air.But I'll find my direction real soon.

Im so tired and I had a craving for movies badly...Had a number of movies wanting to watch...(listing not in order)

#L: Change The World
#The Leap Years
#The Diving Bell And The Butterfly **
#Away From Her
#Juno

Hmph...I really wanna watch...

Yeah!I've fallen sick agn! Or shld I say I've never recover ... I'm experiencing influenza & the ulcer tt was heal weeks ago seems to be appearing at the same place agn...haiya...looks like must heed auntie meng's advice & eat more fruits ...

I was doing this test abt "what sign is ur true love" when the result was....

Your True Love Is a Cancer

Why you'll love a Cancer: Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt. Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up! Why a Cancer will love you: You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs. A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

ok there.Haven been feeling well these days.First, I was so tired I actually took a 2-hr afternoon nap.This may be no big deal,but for a person who's seldom take afternoon naps(1-2 times a year!), 2-hr aftnn nap is a big deal. Next,after I was refreshed from the nap,I found my left eye rather red,so I did a brave thing, put on eye drops.I've always been afraid to put on eye drops, it scares me off,but nevertheless, I still did.for the few days couple days somemore:(
Then, as my eye was getting better, my cough deteriorates.I was basically coughing from last night till test today. Creating a nuisance for the pple sitting next to me...When can cough leave me?Theres something "better"I cant meet woodblock for the next couple of weeks,not even lunch. Whats even "better" is tt he'll be going for reservist 1-2weeks aft.Which means,we might be out of each other's vision for almost 1 month."Best".And I'm having dizzy spells now...Better stop here b4 I talk nonsense...


I miss u

I'm so stressed up.I can't seem to find anyone to stand by me when I needed somebody to be there. I felt so lonely and I don't know what I'm doing, what I'm talking,what I'm thinking...

Happy Things today: Dear surprise me today!He turn up in school unexpectedly!!!Hehe,though the time spent werent long,but I'm still v glad he came specially to see me:)at least there's something to brighten me today.

Unhappy things today: I don't understand why I'm so stupid,I just can't figure the stuffs if my friends didnt help me. I cant blame the lecturer coz since my frenz can figure out the stuffs taught by him,y cant I?ARGH!!!!!!!!I need gravity!

U disgust me,makes me irk.Will u just go away and stop all those nonsense u tot they were upright things tt u shld obey.sickening.jerk.

Im so frustrated,I'm still doing the mgmt acc which I thik I'll puke any moment at the sight of it!I'm already working v hard!Y cant u just finish it up quickly and leave me alone?!?!?!?!?!Im gonna finish it another half an hour and tts it!!!!

My frenz's bf is just so sweet!!!!:x
Im so envious...click on the link below to know more http://www.purplesoul.blogspot.com/

On impluse,I went dear's workplace and surprise him aft school ytd!So was he happy???The answer is ,I saw a silly guy smilling from ear to ear all the way from United Sq to Novena...hehe
March issue of cleo is out,initially I was pondering if I should buy it coz some contents in it doesn't seem appealing for me...but then dear say he'd buy for me,so while I was helping him to do housekeeping, I put the cleo mag on top of the diaries and forgot all abt it.So I came back without cleo:(
Aft I got home ,I was so tired tt I slept in the middle of our sms'ing...hehe
Pple say old pple doesn't sleep a lot...so tt explains y dear can sleep late and wake up early...Dear,U think U v young???HAHA!!!And I also saw his H.P. at cold storage...and he was singing her praises in the train,looks like I got to sing B. praises right???Then to-be Mrs L. will become to-be Mrs T.
Also,my tagboard's supposed to be filled with dear's name and not sk's name right?Pple who dunno will be mistaken haha!

I just read through post secret and kitchen contraptions website. Post secret is so sweet this weeek,due to V day.Its so nice to read through it.(Suddenly I feel like reading Cleo)Kitchen contraptions makes me crave for waffle hot dog!!! Though I'm having a headache, but I still feel like eating piping waffle hot dog!!!Hehe

Im so tired at lecture today.So tired tt I didnt even eat anything during breaktime so i went to washroom to wash my face.In the end, I was so tired and blur tt I forgot.Best.
I make careless mistake during the lect qns,UnforGiving!After lunch,shuzk,rayn,and me sat at the cafe there to talk,but it wasnt long though,then I decided to go home...Later teaching tuition,and I still feel a bit sleepy...And I discover that there's one black patch of dunno what on my upper lip!!!Im rather heaty these days,so tt constitutes bad breath,moodiness,ulcer blah blah blah...so sickening...and woodblock still haven tag. Im not sleeping well these days also,triple eyelids forming on my left eye!!!
I think I need a sleep,I keep typing the wrong words and backspacing...






To woodblock:
Have u discover how to tag???I wanna see ur tag by tonight k...

Hmmm...went dear's house ytd,it doesnt seem to be as intimidating as I thought.I saw the long-awaited chinchilla...so chubby,bubbly and bouncy.Seems to be full of energy ,always jumping up and down,and like a child,easily coaxed and con,haha.I also ate something called"Bai Guo".Inititally I thought I was supposed to eat a plate of cabbage-cum-fishcake-cum-prawn-cum-slices of pork kinda dish for lunch.It turns out tt the fishcake thingy is called "bai guo". At least its quite nice though its my 1st time trying it.After tt ,we were watching "Silent Hill" vcd with Shoba & her husband.When we got to Bugis, there was such long queue at the ticketing counter,so we thought suntec might be a better alternative,little did we know the movie we wanted to watch wasnt even showing at Suntec!We've walked 2 places and didnt even get to watch a single movie.Irony that my sis watched the same movie twice a day in the same place:(
As a result we went toys'r'us instead...and it fun!I heard the songs tt's long forgotten since I've grown up.And yeah la, we got childish agn by fiddling with the disney princesses' dress onto each other...hehe
I earned myself a chance to get him to buy whatever I want by testing him whats "pwp"!Yeah!!!And its valid for as long as I wan!!!

I've told u .....
I dunno how to handle quarrels....
I.....
nv meant to quarrel at all,but u were mistaken...
And...
u didn't ask for the reason....
leaving me hanging in the air...
I'm not angry...just disappointed.
Maybe....
I'm too selfish,not considerate and sensitive enough to your feelings
Maybe.....
we do not understand each other well enough...
Probably...tts it.

Went to collect my phone with dear today,my phone's finally showing the correct time of msg received.Haven been studying the whole day, the headache's making me sleepy the whole day...so im gonna have to burn midnight oil later.Dear and I was so childish at cwp.I was always hiding behind him so tt he cant see me..hehe,im childish i noe.He was no better ok.The plant(Yin Liu) tt chinese usually placed in their homes during new year, he called it "the tree". Haha, was laughing my head off...as usual, he nv fails to make me happy...ok, shall be a good girl and got back to study now!

Went causeway pt to fix my phone today,there was no queue which was pretty gd.
Today supposed to go out with woodblock, but due to extreme reasons,we're unable to meet...
Y do I call "woodblock" "woodblock"?I dun wanna bother myself with the shortcomings of him anymore,if not Im only gonna get older! I've also got shortcomings, I mean, all of us have shortcomings,so I'll have to learn how to turn these shortcomings into strengths of pple!My sis bought a book,and inside there is this sentence tt says,"Love is about finding the good in people."So I guess, Im gonna do tt,and dun wait for things in vain. A watched pot never boils. Get on and live life in the present moment and don't hold my breath for things to happen!
Sweeny Todd is showing next week!Yeah!Im gonna enjoy next week to the fullest,meanwhile need to go study!Yipee!Im a nerd!

Woodblock,I've got a dozen things to do with u!Got tt?!So u better treat me better!U understand how?!?Dunno,ask me:))

I am really helpless in this...I really dunno what to do...maybe I shouldn't have enter, maybe I should have leave,maybe I should have done something else,maybe I...should stop everything before its all too late,before we're all too into it...

I just wanna focus my attention on something more impt...I'm too tired and I'm crashing down soon.

Still 15 more mins b4 I step out of the house for tuition.I just read my frenz blog and came across an entry whereby its sayin how sweet her bf was,which is true.Her bf actually waited outside our Lt for our break so as to give her strepsils,her fav flavour somemore.Cnt take it manz.I wish something similar wld happen to me also...but on the other hand, woodblock wont do tt...but i still like woodblock,coz he makes me happy always:)
I wanna watch Sweeny Todd!Its showing soon I think...Hope woodblock wld bring me to see...Lets hope.

I haven been bloggin and I dun like blogging anymore.
But since it appears that nobody will be reading my blog, and I have nobody to turn to when it comes to some matters,it seems that its safe to post here.
I haven seen dear for 4 days...I missed him,though he'll msg me everyday but its different when we see each other in person...If this post is seen by Chimp and ANN, they'll puke!haha, its cheesy i noe, but hey u 2!we're not just frenz ok...so its normal.There are pple who a lot more cheesy than we are ok!And he currently had some family affairs that he need to handle and I want him to help out.But tt will have to compromise our time together.But we're still better than pple who stayed in different ctries.I have no idea how these pple can survive through webcam ,emails and phone calls...

Todays the end of exam...dunno what im writing in the papers...
then i went vivo with cynthia and shuzk...and im dressed in t shirts and shorts,so unglam...
my bag is so heavy tt it nearly drop into the toilet bowl...Eeeek...
We had lunch at HK Kim Gary Cafe...i think its too oily and the portion of rice they gave was too much...
I dun understand why such bitches exist in the worlds and they are only age 15...I wish i shave all their hairs and put them in the shoes and shit tt they had gotten pple into...Bitches...

也许我的人生会因金钱所束缚。。。

Not much to blog abt,everyday has been sleeping,eating,studying,tuitioning...where got so much things to do...no time to do also...Haven been sleeping well,how i wish i dun feel tired,no need to sleep,work all day long,like a wonder woman!But cnt be la,i nearly forgot to take my thumbdrive ytd aft bus com class...not enough sleep la...

The acc lecturer share some quotes with us, the one he was most inspired one was " Life is like a drawing without an eraser". It kinda of makes me ponder a while...indeed its true.Nth we done can be erased away...

Bus com today was interesting and short!The design came up by my group was running 24-hrs non-stop one coz we dun have a power switch,kao!hahaz.k lame,anyway,im gonna watch ratatouille later!I know its kinda lag to watch now but i can only watch it now mah. Exams are coming and I haven make my notes!argh!its only two mths since we start school and we're havin exams in a blink of an eye!And my project!Like nv-ending work,action plans,promotional strategies!I haven even learn and expect me to write like expert.Best.

Ting is having a not-so-good day,am tired with lotsa of things undone.Tmr will be a better day!

Am currently blogging at home,just finish my computing class,its fun,competitive and complex.hah,but its enjoyable doing the assignment. Anyway,last week when I met up with Choon and yi,I've received pre-birthday presents from them!Its a blush and a box with 3 sticks of hand therapy cream!Earlier on that day I've also received Teachers' Day present from my student!So happy !But on my birthday itself I guess I wld be mugging at home coz the day b4 is Macro test and day afrer my birthday is Accounts test,which,i feared most!

I can't concentrate on studying in the afternoon and at night,Im too tired to study!How?!?
How I wished I can watch movie now,but I cannot!No life sia...I think Im going berserk cox I dunno what Im talking...nvm,till the ,cya!

I've finally finished my bus com homework!Its tedious!Mostly because I was careless and the damn formulas are so tedious to make out!ARGH!Anyway my purpose here is to share a song!Its not very new,rather old actually,but good songs dun die eh.

Here you goes:

Janice -Never let you go

The rain just never seems to bring the joy, I feel the same
Everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart can't seem to learn to part
The hold you left your mark
All that I dreamed of now it seem so stark

Though I told myself, won't hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in

*Chorus
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes
And you know I'd never let you go

The way you left me on the train
don't know what to say
I remember everything that day
I can't believe we'd never dance
Just need one more chance
To share the sunset
Our one last romance

Though I told myself, won't hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now but give in

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes
And you know I'd never let you go

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes
And you know I'd never let you go

12.11am,I'm still researching for my project. After looking at the researches, then I realise our pdt has got ,not much markets,or should I say,not v. imteresting.WTH.The disturbed sleep last night caused me to put on my long-nv-seen specs on.I look so funny and weird and odd.Though I've done some research but,I think my research like nth to do with my pdt leh,so confusing!I actually dunno how to find the correct data!

Speaking of data,its gonna be bus. computing class this thur!I hate bus. computing,I just dun like all those processes in the com la,and I still have to make them work!Worse still,be tested on them!Heck!

And my acc.,i still dun understand why some figures are on the left side and some on right side!Wah!

I feel so tired,eyes are half-closed now,and I'm hungry,again!I think must be the cold weather thats causing it.Tmr I'll be having a meeting with my grp mem. Wish everything will be fun and tmr's macro. class be wonderful.

I just realised my blog box(the box where I wrote my contents inside) was working,not squeezing anymore.Thanks to Ah Bee Bee!(:

I'm absolutely unhappy .While I was doing research for my report just now,I realised doing a report is so difficult!There are so much things to do!Brief report to be in by this fri and I didn't even know where to start!*scream*
Tmr we're going to discuss the report and I'm like searching anyhow for the research(like headless-fly)clueless!!!

Although I don't seem to lose weight recently,but I have a craving for saussage muffin with eggs from Mac!Its been such a long time since I ate it!Wish it will drop from the sky!

I am so absolutely bothered tt I can't win the tickets to NDP@Marina!!! I've send in two entries and I am not picked!I really wanna go !First I go to their web to do the necessary application for the tickets,but the website is not working on my COM!!!Then I saw the ZaoBao and I've send in two entries and still I'm not picked!How can they disappoint such an enthusiastic spectator like me???
Anyway, I'm gonna change my blogskin,so look forward to it!

Its a brand new month!Today marks the end of the lec. on mktg princp. I seem to learn a lot,yet not that much aftall...but the video tt prof. show us today was interesting,the simpsons one ytd was brilliant.Anyway,today was an early day in school cox the lecture was so sick I think he's gonna collapse from those intense coughing...but tmr's gonna be a long day!10 to 5pm!And tuition's at 8pm...will be my turn to collapse tmr.Oh,and tmr's lesson will be macro and intro. acc.Macro will be all the stuffs I learn in JC so i think shld be ok,though I did it lousy in my As :(
the intro acc wld be quite diff. from what I heard from the OGLs.I think I'm getting old,yawning away during lec. and my eyes are heavy ...shall have a siesta later.Till then,cya folks!

Im always so clumsy,can I be clumsier???This morning while I was boarding the bus to school,I crash my big bag into a passenger who was sitting innocently in his seat!Hahaz!Aft that,I made a 360 degree turn to lean against the round round thing on the bus...When most of the passengers alight at the bus-stop opp. ngee ann poly,I turn ard to take a seat ,to my horror,I saw my primary sch frenz's backview,and this frenz was sitting just next to the person that I greatly crash my big bag onto!So he saw all my stupid actions!Wau Kao!

Anyway,today's lecture quite ok,some of my econ knowledge did some help in understanding in the notes.The school provides food such as pineapple tarts(2 types),curry puffs and some beverages for us during the breaks...Dont think its FOC,coz they are already included in our tuition fees...But I prefer just just short breaks coz its kinda wasting time to be eatin and drinking when we can finish the lecture in much shorter time...I know that breaks can rejuvenate our mind but its just...well,watever.

This morning was a stupid morning for me. This is dunno the XXXX time that I got trapped outside my house.Lets just talk abt the V. previous time,which is only last week,I got trapped because I forgot to bring my keys when I actually rmb to bring my brolly.This time,yes,its today,guess what?I did bring my KEYS!And I stupidly turn the knob to the left instead of the right,and my door got locked from inside!BEST! Nobodys at home so I got to wait!The longest record was probably 1.5 hours,today was better,waited 1 hr.

I'm going school next mon!!!!!!!!!!I'm so excited and anxious and nervous....Though its not the school I want but At least theres a school for me.Heard that its quite difficult to make frenz cuz everyone's like got their own frenz and everyone just disappear aft lectures.The only to is to join CCA.But I guess I dun have time to join...My frenz told me that Student Council is v. competitive...and Im thinking of joining coz it looks good on your resume but,involves a lot of commitment...Im also thinking of singing club,sounds simple ,more relax?Not too sure,lets wait for everything to settle down when I got into school first...

Just got my lecture schedule today...next week start lesson and I have to study from mon all the way to SAT!omg,whats this manx!its worst than JC.When I think of joining none of the CCAs,my frenz are joining more than one ...sick...now that the timetable is so packed,I have to even drop one of my tuitions ...less money to earn,hmphz!

These make up my mind to enjoy this freely last week of life...at least for this coming three years...sob*

Feeling so tired now...my eyes are drooling..anyway,have been buying lotsa stuffs for the past few days,four tops,2 pairs of shoes and a bag from far east and bugis ,v. happy coz i like all the stuffs i bought...but coz a lot seh.I actually wanna post the pictures in this blog,but on second thought,I'm tired to do so..hahaz.Im going school in a week's time,but ,the school haven send us the schedule for our lesson.good!And, I'm using my laptop to blog now!I'm finally having my own laptop...but its not as excited as I thought I will hahax...is this some kind of paradox or something?whatever,btw,FRENZ,help keep my blog alive by taggin k?CYA!

Hmm,its been a long time since I've updated my blog and since I've also remove the tagboard, I really have no idea how many pple are reading my blog...
Anyway, time flies, I'm going uni in 30th july. So fast...No idea how the life would be when we're in uni...but I still need to try hard to accommodate...Uni is so vague and the pple inside are all ,inter-related?How comw they seem to know everyone else in the LT. Whatever.A friend mentioned tt never trust and rely on a single friend cuz u dunno what will happen the very next moment,and thus we need to enlarge our social circle. Guess it makes sense.I'm so used to doing nth and relaxing at my home. Although I teach tuitions, but tts only in the night and on weekends...(im having 5 students and im teaching each of them every night k,even on weekends, Im not a free-loader)Wld I be used to the life in uni?I think my luck is so damn not gd, I always got myself into schs with none of my frenz inside...like YJC, wld anyone be so stupid to crash into a sch in Yishun when she's living in Bt panjang??And, none of my frenz,or anyone in my sec sch enter the sch...haiz.I'm always so alone!!!But I have one v. habit,I will only get real worried a few days before the actual event happens...so, I'm gonna enjoy the remaining half a month's schoolesss(spelt like tt?) days...hahz.And I'm gonna revive my tagboard so my blog will be slightly lively...Enough of the grumbling...Something happened when I was teaching tuition this morning,I actually had the power to make pple cry?!?While I was teaching my student spelling, I(smilingly) told her to stand up to spell,so tt i can make her slightly serious and awake..Guess what happened?After she sat down, she actually cry?!?Wow?am i what?tigress or what?And I still need to wipe her tears and coaxed her ...what have I done?And when her mum ask y she cry?she said nth.I wld have said the same ,coz her mum was practically scolding her on why she cant even spell simple wrdz like CAR??And her mum was so fierce tt I was almost intimidated by her...WTH.

I'm looking forward to fri though...

Looking at the pple trying to find out what their past life is, to satisfy my curiosity, I did the test.

Its goes like this:

You were female in your last earthly incarnation.

You were born somewhere in the territory of modern USA North-East around the year 1075.

Your profession was that of a farmer, weaver or tailor.

Seeker of truth and wisdom.

You could have seen your future lives.

Others perceived you as an idealist illuminating path to future.

Your lesson is to develop a kind attitude towards people, and to acquire the gift of understanding and compassion.

Do you remember now?

I absolutely don't remember...anything...

hello pple, my blog have been so deserted that spiders webs gonna appear...anyway,these few weeks my schedule have been quite hectic.First there is the applying of bank loan and termination of bank loan...second,there is the preparing of tuition materials for my students but these few days are quite relax coz some of the students' parents decided to stop the tuition for a while during the hols to let their kids to rest...hmmm,another thing,my school gonna start soon but i will try to enjoy this long break and recharge myself for the upcoming school days!gtg and prepare stuffs for tuitions agn...cya pple

DAMN IT !

I am so DAMN ANGRY!
I AM so DAMN UPSET !
I AM SO DAMN STRESS!
I AM SO DAMN HELPLESS!
SO DAMN USELESS!
SO DAMN BORING!
THat invisible hand thats manipulating my life,just GO AWAY!
Isn't that lesson enough to pay the price of my mistake?!?
Haven't I done enough to pay for it?I am paying now SO please give me back the life I've always lead 7 years ago!!!!!!

I found this Very nice pic on the a website...esp the flowers!

Actually...from here u can see that Its PAINTED BY ME!

I was bored and I began to do this pic...its consider a not-bad-piece by a non-artistic me..hehez

I am feeling extremely unwell,I so in pain thant I'm almost to the ground!

Hi guys!I dunno whats happening to blogger cuz the icons in the posting area is all messed up. But anyway I'm able to do the blogging...I just watched the Just follow law DVD and my sis went to explore the laozhabor.blogspot.com and there is really this blog!Its so amazing and I went on to see her older posts then i realized she's already on papers for a couple of time!wow~And I recently just finished a book "Vanished" by Karen Robards. Its my first time reading a thriller and its a v. nice book,a rather gd book to introduce to all of u.Oh yeah, I'm also quite addicted to watching My girl ..but I can only watched it on youtube...i dun like small screen...haiz,my sister took so long still haven borrow for me!!!argh!opps,getting more and more short-tempered.Not choice,when things doesn't go well for one,one gets crazy...K ,i noe your dunno what Im talkin abt...nvm...

I’ve been very bored but busy these days. Bored because there is nth new for me to do anyway. However, now is the season of exams and this means I have quite busy schedule for tuitions. Three tuitions a day for me is hectic. CCK to Bt Batok to TW,tired! And I think I have been too nice to my students that they tend to get too easy on their work …haiz,too strict cannot,too lenient cannot…what the heck. Days ago,choon just told me a website to watch shows and the image are quite clear. I’ve watch 200 pounds of beauty and its quite nice. The ost is also nice,tts why I’ve put in my playlist in this blog. The name is star. Very nice! But I dun understand why the Hanna still likes the producer when she noes he is using her. Anyway I like the ending of this movie.Hehez. I wanna go out,but I’m lazy to travel. There should be a invent teleport and teleport scroll,whenever we need to go to places,just teleport. Damn nice.Well,bottom line is,I’m lazy.

Its Laour Day today!And I'm quite busy!hahaz,I've got three tuition today and two of them was in the morning ,consecutively...Busy is a good thing for me,that means I don't have time to think too much.I am trying very hard not to think pessimistically and I really hope it does well for me.Labour day up to this moment seems a good day,people are playing badminton at the bad. court downstairs and the playground is filled with kids,its crowded and nice.Not like usual where everyone is busy with work and studies and no one remember what is fun...Back to my tuition,I'm quite worried for my student,he did not do well for his CA and his SA is coming up,there is simply no enough time to help him.Haiz,I hope I can improve his grades and they wil continue to hire me...hehez.Hopefully.

This just makes me HIGH!

My life has been so boring that I've got not much thing to blog about.However, when I came across one of my friends blog,it seems like she and others are clinching good job at banks,whereas Im just a tuition teacher.I am so envious of them!haiz,but what can I do?I am just not in luck.Argh!
Oh yeah anyway, now that I'm into the job of tuition, i have to do tuition morning as well,so that means i need to take the LRT in the morning. All these while that i've taken the lrt,I've seen two of my primary sch frenz,BUT,we did not even make an eye contact !Why?!? I also dunno, maybe theres the shyness,the awkwardness that wedge in between us. How nice if all of us were to travel into the time dimension whereby we were all primary school kids.There would be dreams,wishes and hope.Not like now,several things are really,beyond our control.
But No way am i gonna lead my life like that.I want a change in my life,Yesh!

I read bukoh mary's blog and came by this line :如果时间不可以令你忘记那些不该记住的人，我们失去的岁月又有什么意义？
I was thinking
:如果时间不可以令我忘记那些不该记住的事，我失去的岁月又有什么意义？

Youth is like flower seeds before they sprout.Just as growing seeds must break through a layer of soil, youth is the time for challenge. Only those who challenge will develop themselves with strength and become victors in life. Look forward as someone blossom into a beautiful and strong person.Wish it,Dream it,Do it!

I'm still unable to put that regret behind me,no matter how hard I've try.

: Busy busy:

Saturday was a busy day for me. I had to wake up at 7am, get out of home at 8.15am to teach tuition at CCK which was at 9am.After the hectic tuition with the active kid, on the way home, another kid’s mother ring me up to change the tuition time in the aftn from 2.30 to 1.30pm. So when I reached home, it was 11am. Two more hrs to rest before I went off for tuition. My lunch was a bit pathetic, Koka noodles +hotdog. Aft a quick bath, I went out again. When I reached there, I realized I had to teach the kid 3 pic discussion, which was supposed to be quite fast ,if not for the kid sucking his “push and pop” sweet and talking away. He can write halfway and ask me qns like “Do you want to be a teacher when you grow up?” and “Do you play maple story?” and he would start blabbering away. The thing is if he can multi-task between his mouth and his hand that would be good. But, he cannot. When his mouth started moving, his hand stops moving at the same time, vice versa. That’s the thing about kids, they won’t know what to say, what not to say. Simply put, they have no secrets. So after this aftn tuition, I reached home at about 4 plus. However, my day did not end like that; I still got night tuition at 8pm, at bt batok. Wow~ But the he good thing is papa managed to get home in time to drive me there, so I can rest a bit more of time and saved me the hassle of changing two buses, most importantly, saved the bus fare. I slept quite early ytd,at 11.30pm. This is not abnormal for me who had nightmares and insomnia the days before. I dreamt of people jumping off the building comitting suicide,for two consecutive nights.Horrible. I was awaken from these nightmares and went back to sleep in vain.I kept tossing and turning,and I realised I think Im suffering from hair loss. Every morning when Im making my bed,I always spotted lots of hair on my bed,OMG!Im still tired though ytd night I didnt have nightmare but I was dreaming the whole night. People told me that dreams can strain your energy. I dreamt that the guy I like was a gay but I cant see the face of the mysterious guy!Weird eh?!?I must be thinking too much...

Here's a interesting story to share with all :

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full they agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar . Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things- your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained ...your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal." Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

When things in your life seem almost too much too handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

nice?

Hmmm… I felt very lazy to upload the pictures I’ve promised, so no pictures for this entry. Frankly speaking, I’ve not much interesting things happening to my life up till this moment of my life, so, I actually don’t know what to blog about. Talking about last Friday, I went to the little get-together cum JJ +Annabel birthday surprise session with the sec peeps. It was quite ok, at least I managed to know what’s happening to their life at the moment and how’re they doing. One thing that I’m sure of is that, my good friends and I have drifted. Not far, but very far. I have no idea what the things they are talking among themselves coz I’m the only jc student there and they are all poly. Not that I don’t feel comfortable or think they what ok! I just think I dunno the stuffs they’re talking about. Those goggles…sci lab…attachments. They were discussing among themselves and I …was really out of the picture. Sad. The only fortunate thing was that JJ was able to crap with me throughout the dinner time coz she don’t want to talk about school stuffs after her attachment whole day …she was tired. My friend used to consult, or should I say confide her problems to me…now, I don’t even know who her crush is. The gap is getting bigger and bigger but I can’t seem to seal it back. Guess the time and chemistry is not there anymore.